edzackleah

I've had it with BLOGGER/BLOGSPOT

2005-04-27T14:13:00.000-04:00

I am tired of losing posts, not being able to access this site, tired of folks having problems with this site and not being able to leave comments... I'm sick sick sick of it!

If anyone has a better solution than my moving these posts ONE BY ONE from here to my own site, please let me know... the webhosting service has an "easy" Blogger transfer but when I tried it several months ago I think I about blew it.....

Anyway, for now this is my last post here -- I am continuing with this blog H-E-R-E so come see me there!

Sorry for the inconvenience but I think this will be a lot easier in the long run...
Cheers y'all!

2005-04-26T16:44:00.000-04:00

...and here is one with both LeahClair and me! She still had on her locket in this pic, although by the end of dinner it was missing -- locket later located, chain still missing....???

2005-04-26T16:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, here is one that shows the dress - but by then she'd pulled out her hairbow... Zack was with his father so he wasn't there for pics...

2005-04-26T16:32:00.000-04:00

LeahClair as promised..... although I think I should load one of her that shows her pretty dress.... she is just so sweet -- yes, I am a bit biased on the issue!

Well, he either got fired or quit his job....

2005-04-25T23:45:00.000-04:00

It was 2-3 weeks ago when I first heard he'd gotten fired on a Monday. Then supposedly the next day he was able to get "re-hired" with a demotion (no longer a department manager) to another department and loss of pay grade (maybe a dollar or two an hour!).
Then that Thursday I was there with Zack to buy diapers. I wasn't expecting to see him there but he was and, to make a long story short (I'll have to elaborate another time as I have been a very bad blogger this month) he ripped off his name tag, threw it as hard as he could behind some large object, called me very loudly a female dog just as 2 firemen walked past, and seemingly almost broke the glass out of the door hitting it to open it and walk out.
He didn't go back there to work that day and I don't think he ever went back.
Then I heard that he was taking a leave of absence because "his children were sick"... OH PUHLEEZE!! He had Zack that Monday and Tuesday til 7pm because Leah was in the hospital and he didn't even go visit her in the hospital except for maybe 20 minutes on the Saturday she was admitted!!
Anyhow, I heard today that he really is no longer employed there.
He's yet to mention it to me... I wonder what he thinks we'll do about insurance for Zack? LeahClair is still on Medicaid, thank G-d, but Zack is on Ricky's BC/BS policy through "work"... I suppose I'll have to ask him about it so I can confirm with DSS for an application to put Zack on Medicaid, too...

I saw a bumpersticker the other day - "WORK HARDER. PEOPLE ON WELFARE DEPEND ON YOU!"
Made me feel about -this- high..... well, I do work part time, I do work full time here with the kids and I do work part time helping here with my folks.... I guess I don't feel too bad...

He didn't get LeahClair this weekend....

2005-04-25T12:55:00.000-04:00

Nothing unusual, I suppose.... I didn't even bat an eye. He picked up Zack as per usual on Friday afternoon. He had the Vickie with him and her son as well. I left immediately after saying bye to Zachary.

Then, Saturday came and went with no word from Ricky.
We had Passover seder at Hannah's and everybody missed little Zachary and I promised everyone he would be there Sunday night. Leah was cranky but she was lovely in her yellow dress -- she wore what she wore to Ricky's mother's on Easter. She was lovely, I'll post a picture (if I can remember how!).
Then, Sunday -- no call from Ricky again. Poor little Leah - again she is treated like a second class citizen by her father.

When I started getting Leah dressed for the evening at around 4:30 I turned on my car phone... lo and behold, messages from her father. He'd called Saturday morning once and left a message and he'd called around noonish that day. His message Sunday was something to the effect, "It's Sunday afternoon and I haven't seen my daughter, I'm sure you're getting a big kick out of it... I'll get a kick out of it next week..." and hung up.
WELL DUH!!! If he had really wanted to see LeahClair the weekend like he has the privelege of being allowed to do, why in the heck didn't he call us AT HOME!!??!!?? I mean, PUHLEEZE! What a creep!
So I got my cousin Charlie to ride with me to pick up Zack. I had a feeling he would try to get in my face or be ugly to me or show his ass -- I was right... Charlie went with me and he had gotten out of the car to smoke a cigarette while we waited for Ricky to get there. When Ricky got there he had only his mother with him. Charlie had walked toward the rear driver side of Ricky's truck and when Ricky got out he walked up to him, hand outstretched to shake, and started saying hello, how've you been, all the niceties....
When Ricky came around to the passenger side of his truck and passed Zack to me he asked "Doesn't your cell phone work anymore?".
I said, "My home phone works".
He said "That wasn't what I asked you. Doesn't your cell work anymore?" to which I again replied that our home phone works.
He repeated his dimwitted question again and his mother put her window down a bit more and told him, "Don't worry about it Ricky" and he shut up and went on and got in his truck......

He didn't want to visit with Leah any more than I want a sexually transmitted disease! The Jerk!!! If he had, he'd have called the house when he didn't get an answer or a return call in a short while on Saturday....
Not to mention it's obvious when a cellular telephone is turned off because the voice mail picks up right away without the rings....

Bad blogger -- PLUS -- Leah was HOSPITALIZED!!!

2005-04-13T00:13:00.000-04:00

This post will be short but I will definitely post more and get up to date within the next few days - no later than Saturday is my goal.

* Leah got sick Friday starting at 11am'ish.
* Took her to the doctor 3pm'ish.
* Diagnosed with AGE (acute gastroenteritis). Told to return in AM if she was not better.
* Took her back to the doctor 10am Saturday morning.
* Doctor admitted her right away - precaution for dehydration.
* Saturday afternoon after a stool sample diagnosis changed to "Rotovirus".

Talk about one sick little girl! Y'all, I was so worried!

It was Ricky's weekend with the kids, too, and I couldn't even get in touch with him! He'd gotten Zachary Friday afternoon so he knew that Leah was very sick and had been to the doctor and that she would have to return to the doctor if she wasn't better the next morning.
I finally decided to call Ricky's mother who I care very, very little for. She wouldn't tell me where Ricky and Zack were but that she would call him and have him call me.....
It was almost NOON finally when he called my cell.

He did come to the hospital on Saturday for about 20 minutes but that was it -- that was the last we saw or heard from him... the jackass, sorry excuse for a daddy never called for or visited his hospitalized, infant daughter in the hospital after that.

Then had the nerve to say I was lying about her being discharged this evening and that I was only wanting Zachary back tonight because I didn't want HIM to have him any longer.....

He's gonna get me for contempt of court...

2005-03-27T14:57:00.000-05:00

This post may or may not be long long long but right now I have about 2 1/2 hours that I can work so I need to do that while I am kid-free...
Suffice it to say that it is Easter Sunday, Ricky didn't call here til almost 2:00 (remember, he has 4 hour visitation and on Sundays visitation ends at 6:00pm....).

He'd called from a number I didn't recognize so I asked where he was and he told me that he didn't think that was any of my business. I hung the phone up in his ear.
I can't count how many times he has made me feel like I owe him explanations as to where I am if I have the children with me and I am not at home. He has always said that if his children were involved it did concern him so I have always told him what I was doing, where I was, who was there, any time he asked and I have never been untruthful with him about it if he did ask. I didn't like it but I thought he might be right that he should be able to ask and know where his children were. So when he told me it was none of my business where my son was I was at a loss for words.... so I hung up. I know, maybe not the most rational thing but daggone it!! Besides, I had the number he called from on caller ID so I could have called back in a while when my nerves got settled...

He called back with an attitude, cussing me, called me names so that I hung up on him 4-5 times... every time he called back and started cussing me I told him not to cuss me and he'd say he'd cuss me if he wanted and one time he even tried lying to himself and said he'd not cussed at me at all.... He had me all upset right in front of my company (which, I do admit is my own fault for letting him get to me, although it wasn't until his 5th call that I actually blew up)

Anyhow, I think it was on his 6th call back on the house phone that he asked me would I be ready for the sheriff when they came to serve contempt of court papers on me, that he had me on 4 counts of contempt of court and that the only reason I'd not been served already was because he'd asked his attorney not to do it...
The nerve of him!
Plus, he sounded all stuffed up, congested, like he had a bad cold... he probably had the cocaine cold. I am so tired of dealing with all this already.

Well, after that phone call ended a few minutes later his mother called.
Seems they're having an Easter Egg Hunt at her place and she really wants Leah to be there so could she come get her. (hmmm, when I was growing up our Easter Egg Hunts were always first thing in the morning - like opening Christmas presents). I listened to her story about how she never gets to see the children, that she only got to see them for an hour on Friday, blah blah blah -- anyway. I let her come get Leah (she got here about 10 til 3pm) and told her I'd get her when I got Zack at 6:00 at the Food Lion parking lot, my and Ricky's usual spot. She said she or Ricky one would bring them back. I sure hope it's her because I won't have anyone to ride with me and I don't know what Ricky's problem is other than drugs .. it's how he used to act to me when he was doing all that cocaine before. I assume that methamphetmines do the same thing, like speed or something and he was all hyped up. It's those methamphetamines that the Vickie was/is supposedly doing so hard and heavy.

Anyway, I went on longer than I planned -- I have got to get to typing.
H A P P Y
E A S T E R
E V E R Y O N E!!

He called back....

2005-03-25T07:52:00.000-05:00

He called back about 5 minutes ago....

Him: "What's the earliest I can get the kids today?'
Me: "When do you want them?"
Him: "I want them all the time"
Me: "Yeah, right. Prove it. What time do you want to pick them up?"
Him: "How about 12:30 or 1:00?"
Me: "That will be fine. WHERE do you want to pick them up?" (note the hint of sarcasm)
Him: "Wherever you say"
Me: "Fine. Pick them up here at the house then"
Him: "At your house?"
Me: "Yeah" (but thinking, NO THE WHITE HOUSE)
Him: "Okay. I'll call you when I'm on the way"
Me: "Okay, fine" and I hung up.

It's like he has a personality disorder, split personality or something....
He calls here while ago cussing me and pissed at me I guess for breathing, then just now he is very docile....
I wonder if I should be worried.... should I have him picking them up here but daggone it at $2.13 for a gallon of gas let HIM be the one to drive 14 miles here and back!

Phone call -- lame, lamer, lamest

2005-03-25T07:37:00.000-05:00

So he just called here from his cell phone. He actually, as always, called my cell phone.
Anyway...

I answered and he says, "What's happening?"
I asked him the same.
Him: "That's what I asked you, what's happening?"
Me: "What's happening with you? What happened yesterday?"
Him: "I fuckin' worked yesterday"
Me: "You could have called somebody"
Him: "I don't recall my fuckin' phone ringing either"
Me: "That's not the way it works Ricky. You knew I'd be sitting there at 2:00."
Him: "Sitting where?"
Me: "At the Food Lion!" (doh! the place we ALWAYS meet, where legal docs say we meet!)
Him: "We never even said where we were going to meet!"
Me: "This won't happen again."
Him: silence
Me: "What can I do for you right now?"
Him. "You can't do a g-ddamn thing for me!"

CLICK -- He hangs up.

What a creep!

Passed on visit yesterday -- NO SHOW today!!!

2005-03-24T21:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday he called at 1:45 to explain how he was leaving work early so that he could go back in and work from 10pm last night until 8am this morning. He wanted to go home and rest since he was going to go back and work all night and could he just get the kids Thursday.
I told him no problem (as usual). We decided on meeting at 2pm at our usual place. He said his plan was to get off work around 8:00 this morning, go home and get a few hours of sleep and then meet us at 2pm. I asked him if he wanted me to give him a call to make sure he woke up on time and he said no thanks.

Well, today comes and I've got the kids all dressed in new clothes that we went out and bought with the child support Ricky finally paid (yup, he had it to my attorney's office yesterday where I picked it up and C-A-S-H-E-D that bad boy). Y'all should've seen little Leah in her big girl grown up Levi's! She was so precious looking! ...and I bought her first pair of shoes ever and she was wearing them, too! Zack was wearing a sweet pair of jean shorts and his soccer T-shirt with grey socks on to match and his high-top Nikes! Leah had one of her new hair bows in her hair, too!

So we got there at 5 after 2pm but Ricky wasn't there yet.
10 after, no Ricky...
quarter after, no Ricky
Finally at 25 after 2pm, after waiting 20 minutes, we left.
My mother was with us as we'd planned on going shopping while I was kid-free since she desperately needs some new clothes... she has shriveled up to next to nothing since she got sick this last time and nothing she has fits, it all just hangs off of her.

Well, as I type this at 10:00 PM I have yet to even recieve a phone call from that sorry excuse for a male human being! Which, of course, means neither has Zack.
And ordinarily I NEVER EVER say anything to Zack about seeing "daddy" until we are in the car and on the way there to meet him. Heaven forbid Zack be expecting to see his father and then not, ya know? Well, of all the times for me to choose to mention the visit!!! Yep, sure did! Told the Zack-man that he was going to get to play with "daddy" today and that he would probably get to ride on his little motorcycle, blah, blah, blah...... and then the creep not only doesn't show up hence making us (Zack) wait, but he didn't even call to apologize or anything, not even to speak to Zack if he didn't want to talk to me!

I suppose everyone else out there that has already been through this mess has, well, been through this mess -- until now this event was just a fear I had in my mind... I didn't really believe even Ricky would do this, and I certainly didn't expect him to do it so darn soon!!

I really wish I'd not said anything to Zack about it.
I'll never do that again - ever.

Lame if you ask me...

2005-03-21T22:41:00.000-05:00

He had said on Wednesday evening, before court last Thursday, that he would like to see Leah or both Zack and Leah after court if it wasn't too late when we got out of there.
Well, I didn't wait around to talk to him that afternoon. It was right at 5pm when we finished in court anyway. He and his girlfriend were walking out right behind me, too, and he made no effort to talk to me about it either.

Then, Friday and Saturday and Sunday passed by without a phone call from him to ask to see the children. No biggie to me - as I've said before, I'd much rather them stay here with me anyway and it was a BEE-YOU-TEE-FULL day Sunday, warm and sunny, and we played outside throwing frisbee and bouncing basketball.

THEN....... late this morning at 11:45am, he calls on my cell phone.
I was at the office locating some missing dictation.
He asked to speak to Zack.... He calls Monday at lunchtime while he is at work and he asks to speak to Zack.... W-T-F??
What happened FRIDAY?
What about SATURDAY??
How about SUNDAY???
You jacka**!!!! You had all weekend to call and speak to Zack! You had all weekend to call to see Zack. ...and WHAT ABOUT LEAHCLAIR?? Does your daughter not exist?? HELLO!!!! You have 2, 2, count 'em, 2 - TEE-DUBYA-OH, TWO children, TWO!!
You waited til your LUNCH BREAK to take a SKINNY MINUTE to call on my cell phone to "let me talk to Zack" !!?? Kiss my wide, white butt you jerk!!!

** clears throat **
whew, I feel better now
bitter? me? never.....
** clears throat again **

Child support ordered - & - He didn't see kids yesterday

2005-03-17T21:17:00.000-05:00

Court lasted what seemed like forever today!
......and can you believe he brought his girlfriend with him????!!!
I made a funny, though, y'all will be so proud of me!
He brought her name up and I asked him what she was even there for today. He said, "She's here for support"........ I couldn't resist! I said, "Funny, so am I"...!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhoo, I guess y'all can tell I am happy that it went my way -- WOOHOO!!!
He was ordered to pay just under $600 per month by the first of every month beginning April 1st.
He was also ordered, even though I didn't ask for back support, to pay, by next Friday, just under $1200 to cover February and this month since I filed for support a week or so before the end of January!!

Y'all, I will not know how to act not having to buy most of what the kids wear and play with from the Salvation Army! Don't get me wrong, my kids don't wear rags -- y'all bargain hunters out there know that the SA has a lot of good, clean, well cared for things.
It will just be nice to get some nice, brand new clothes and not have to worry that my debit card will be rejected at the counter! LOL!

********* *********** ********** ******** ********

And about yesterday -- Ricky worked late, til 5pm instead of 3pm, and didn't take his visitation with the kids yesterday. Which, of course, means I wasn't able to take granddaddy up to Greenville to see grandma.

Thank you to everyone who has been including Mariza in your prayers! He is answering them all I believe. She has begun improving and will likely continue to improve!

2005-03-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

As promised (the other day!) here is Zachary with his big-boy buzz cut! Ain't he a dollbaby!! Of course little Leah had to get in on the action -- see her peeping in back there?

What about court Thursday? -- & -- I'm helping his granddad

2005-03-16T11:32:00.000-05:00

Just a couple of things today......

We had a big windstorm in this area, Tuesday was a week ago. Ricky's grandmother (his dad's mom) was at work and either fell off of, was knocked off of, or was blown off of the loading dock. She is in her 70's -- she was severely injured. She was flown to Pitt Memorial Hospital in Greenville, NC where she underwent emergency brain surgery to remove blood clots. She was in a coma and it didn't look good for her.

Long story short -- his granddaddy has only been able to see his wife TWICE since this happened! Y'all, their 54th wedding anniversary is next week!! There are 3 children who are in a position to take him the 30-40 miles up the road to the hospital to see her! Not to mention Ricky and 2 other grandsons.
Well, Ricky took him yesterday afternoon. She is doing much better and even recognized Ricky this time and asked about the grandyounguns.

Today is Ricky's visitation Wednesday so while he has the children, I am going to take Granddaddy to see Grandma in Greenville. I don't know why some of their own don't/won't/can't take him -- he no longer drives himself -- but he deserves to be able to be with her any time that he can.

Anyone out there reading this that knows G-d, please keep Ms. Mariza Taylor in your prayers. She's a strong, strong lady but a whisper to the big guy couldn't hurt.
Thanks!

Doubtful visitation with Leah today...

2005-03-13T11:16:00.000-05:00

He just called... says his stomach is upset and he doesn't think he needs to get Leah today.
Poor baby.
...meanness begets illness...
at least he called, right?

Rude, mean and ugly!

2005-03-13T10:22:00.000-05:00

I should've known not to try to be nice... although I asked if he'd like to keep Leah longer than the usual 4 hours yesterday, in part, because I'd volunteered to help a co-worker with some of her work the weekend because she's sick with pneumonia. As well, my doctor had a HUGE day on Friday so all told I probably had 8-9 hours of work to get done by Monday morning by 8:30.
So when Ricky called, believe it or not, at 8:45am to arrange for his Saturday visitation with LeahClair I asked him if he'd like a bit more time with her. He said sure and we arranged to meet for him to pick her up at 11:00am and I'd pick her back up at 7:00pm, a full 8 hours!

I worked for about 3 hours and spent the rest of the afternoon with David and his family. We had a good afternoon. David cooked out and his daughter, his father, a family friend and I all helped and hung out and generally enjoyed the beautiful weather.

Amanda rode with me to pick Leah back up. We were about 2-3 minutes late and Ricky got there about 10 minutes late... no biggie.
Well, it started out with me seeing Zachary through the open door when Ricky opened the truck door to get Leah out. I was cooing at him and saying hey and he called out "mommy!" and Ricky told me to "quit, don't do that, you'll just get him started" so I just waved at Zack and watched quietly as Ricky pulled Leah's car seat out.
He handed me the car seat and as I turned to place it in the car I heard him say, "Who dat!"... no kidding! He really goes, Who DAT! I turned to look at him to make sure what he said and he said, "Is that Sammie Jo?". Sammie Jo is the daughter of another friend. I told him no, that wasn't Sammie Jo and again he goes, "Who Dat"? I caught a glance at Amanda and she looked terrified. I told him not to worry about her and I tried to give Amanda a reassuring look. I just kept strapping Leah's car seat in.
I noticed that Leah didn't have on the velvet dress and black tights I sent her over there in. I finished strapping the seat in and called out to Ricky, who was on the other side of his truck doing something to Zachary's seat, if he had her dress and tights with him. I didn't think he heard me (more like he was ignoring me) and I asked again. He started walking back around the truck to the driver's side and he said they'd gotten wet so they had changed her. (irrelevant, I simply asked if he had the clothes with him...) I said, "That's fine but did you bring the dress and tights back with you?". He said, "No, sede, no". I asked him, "Will you try to remember to bring them with you tomorrow?" (which I thought was a simple enough request) and he said, "No.".... I asked "Why not, Ricky?" and he was getting in his truck. I asked again, "Ricky, why not?" and he pulled his truck door to and started to drive off.

Poor Amanda! She had to see him treating me like that, not to mention the fact that I was upset that he had already scared the heck outta her (she's only 15) and I was upset about the whole idea of him keeping the dress and tights...
I know some of you are saying so what's the big deal about a dress and some tights... Zack is down to one decent pair of jeans and one other pair of jeans that they sent him home in once that I don't even dress him in they're so dingy. They've kept a brand new pair of black Wrangler dress jeans, a pair of Osh Kosh jeans, a pair of Pooh jean, a Pooh pantsuit outfit and several good shirts! I can't afford to keep replacing clothes.

So anyway, that is what happened yesterday in my ongoing saga of distress.
It's almost 10:45 now and I've yet to hear from him today about visitation with Leah. Although, since I pick Zack up at 6pm I pretty much expect that he'd want her around 2pm which makes his 4 hours for today.

New game - Where's Ricky?

2005-03-11T14:37:00.000-05:00

Jonathan was just here and told me that Ricky wasn’t at work today, that he’d just heard Frank on the radio asked if he was around. Ricky is supposed to be there at 6am… I reckon he started his partying for the weekend early.
You’d think that if he took the day off he’d have called to get Zachary earlier in the day! Guess not... what a jerk!

Court date re-set...

2005-03-11T10:51:00.000-05:00

I just got the call from my attorney’s office...
....the hearing has been set for next Thursday, March 17th at 2pm...
Now, let’s just hope Ricky’s lawyer doesn’t come down with anything!! LOL

Wednesday visitation without any real problem...

2005-03-09T21:12:00.000-05:00

...other than his smart mouth...

Upon delivering the kids he mistakenly thought Leah was asleep (she wasn't, although Zack was because he'd not taken a nap) and asked, as I was taking her out of the car, "can we just do this Wednesday thing tomorrow?" to which I replied with a shake of my head "no". Then, since it was about 20 after 4 I asked, "7:15 or 7:30?" to which he motioned with his hand for me to wait. I was in a hurry because I had to get my dad's prescriptions from the pharmacy and he was waiting for me to come on home with his pain meds so I told him I was in a hurry. He said 7:30 and I said okay, I'll see y'all then. I was almost to the car when he called out to me "what's with you and this bad attitude?". I told him I was in a hurry and continued on to the car. He called out again and said "Then you'd better start working on your timing if you're in such a hurry".... We were both late -- he'd only just pulled into his parking spot and gotten out as I was in the turn lane to head into the parking lot!
He is just so arrogant!!

He has a new toy in his truck. A radar detector... he probably hated it that it went off while I was on the cell phone with him letting him know I was running a few minutes late (which is when he said he'd be there at 4:15 instead of 4:00 since he was running late, too, coming back to town from another store location, I guess a meeting or something)... when I asked he said it was an old one his grandfather had - wonder if that's true...? Since I only care about the money I guess it's okay for me to wonder out loud, here anyway, how much it really cost him and if it felt good spending money he is going to have to pay back to the IRS anyway......

On a more fun note -- I got Zachary's hair fixed! My father and I took him to the man who's been Daddy's barber for ages and he buzzed it right down! Looks wonderful! I'll take a pic tomorrow, if I remember, and post it. I don't have a "before" pic but take my word for it, they had it totally messed up!

Have a good night everyone -- I've got about 3 hours of typing to do, joy joy!

No info on new court date & a clarification

2005-03-08T22:01:00.000-05:00

First, let me clarify for anyone who is wondering -- this court hearing is simply for child support . Our custody hearing has yet to be scheduled...
So far, since the children and I left on June 10th, Ricky has given us a total of $40.00 cash and bought diapers approximately 5 times. Not to mention when he gave us diapers and wipes the last time, which probably cost $38 with his 10% discount, he also handed me a $90 doctor bill he's had since at least November, which he'd previously told me he'd paid... so basically instead of coming out $40 ahead I was $50 in the hole!! Gotta love it, gotta love it!

I never heard from attorney John or his office today about when we will actually have a court date next. I sort of had the impression from yesterday that it might have been tomorrow, on Wednesday, since both attorneys were scheduled on the calendar anyway for that date.
I had planned to call this afternoon to find out about it but got tied up this afternoon with the kids and by the time I thought about it again it was well after 6pm and too late to call.
I am assuming the case won't be heard tomorrow but I'll call John's office first thing in the morning just to be sure.

Other than that, nothing else is new... I haven't gotten any more harrassing phone calls since Friday. The kids go for Wednesday visitation tomorrow from 4pm til 7pm so I will have to see him briefly twice but I don't plan to have any unneccessary conversation... if he asks about naps or meals I'll answer but other than that, I simply plan to deliver the children and receive the children back, nothing more.

Court postponed... imagine that!

2005-03-07T11:11:00.000-05:00

At least this time I feel like it was really legit... his attorney was sick and couldn't be in court. Ricky was there and the clerk made mention to the judge, when my attorney stated he thought that Ricky was there, that the attorney's office had only just called his office and that they had tried to reach Ricky to let him know but were unable to.

Oh well.... story of my life, over and over - I wait.
Although it may be that the case can be placed on the court calendar for day after tomorrow, Wednesday the 9th, but I won't know until later on.

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement! I need it!

Ready for court tomorrow...???

2005-03-06T19:19:00.000-05:00

I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be...

I'm supposed to be there at 9:30 for my case to probably be heard around lunchtime... gotta love the judicial system.

Now, if I could just decide what to wear... yeah, right.

I emailed his family with kids website addys

2005-03-05T21:34:00.000-05:00

I got a web domain several weeks ago and have a personal diary blog there as well as "memory book" type blogs for each of my children. In the children's weblogs I post entries as to milestones they accomplish and little things they do, snippets of their lives...
I used to like calling Ricky when Zack or LeahClair did something new or funny but I don't like to call him anymore. However, I still like to think that he would like to know what is going on in their lives on a daily basis, as well as his family members.

.......so......... being the dear, sweet, beat-me-with-a-stick person that I am, I emailed his mother, his mother's sister, his father's sister and his mom's best friend and gave them the web addresses for the kid's blogs. I emailed Ricky with the site addys too...

I know, I know..... none of them will appreciate it or probably ever even acknowlege it but maybe they will be able to enjoy "seeing" Zack and LeahClair grow up like that.

He called here just now, mad, bad attitude

2005-03-04T12:40:00.000-05:00

He called here a little while ago. Actually, he called FIVE times, :

He wanted to know if I was moving because he thinks he saw boxes of clothes in the carport. There is one box out there but it is not filled with clothes and I told him that and that no I was not moving.
He asked if I was ready for court Monday and I said "I guess so". He asked if my attorney had given me an idea of how much money I would be getting from him. I told him no, I'd not talked to my attorney about that. He asked if I had any idea how much money I would be getting from him... again, I told him no, I didn't know how all that worked.
He asked me if I ever hear Zachary talking about riding in Daddy's new truck? I told him that, yeah, Zachary sometimes says he wants to ride in Daddy's new truck. He said, "Well, go ahead and tell him not to get used to it". I asked what he meant by that and he said, "tell Zack daddy won't have that truck much longer". I asked him how come, what was wrong?......
He said he gets two paychecks a month and that I'd now be getting one of them and that I needed to tell Zachary not to get used to "Daddy's new truck". I told Ricky I would say no such thing to Zack.
He asked me if my house was still junky... the only thing I could think of was that he came in this house the day after Thanksgiving and I'd only moved in a short while before and there were still boxes and stuff in my office area... I think he's trying to say I'm messy! I told him I didn't know what he was talking about.
He told me that he had witnesses to state how I never let him have his children, to which I responded with a laugh and I made a comment about how I knew how his witnesses were and what they were about.
He says that all I am about and all I have ever been about is MONEY... I don't know where this comment comes from... I mean, he knows me very well and he knows I'm very modest and not a fashionista or anything like that. I just let him have his say, although I did remind him he's the one that got back so much money stealing it from the IRS, to which he responded with something like "see what I mean, all you think about is money"... well, I suppose when you don't have any it's not hard for one's brain to go there first...

The conversations would go on for a few minutes and he'd start cussing me and I hung up on him twice. Finally I cut the phone off and that's when he called the fifth time and left a message on voicemail. He said he wanted to take the kids some this weekend and something to the effect of calling him at his job, that someone had to work.... hahahah!! He knows I work, too. He should know it's work taking care of 2 children as well...

Oh well, I got some good advice from a fellow blogger who reminded me not to let Ricky know when he gets under my skin so, instead of calling him back and reminding him that I do work too, blah blah blah, I took her advice and just swept it under the rug... Thanks, Cyn! You're a doll!

He didn't offer to help us out...

2005-03-04T09:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon while Zack napped (mom and dad both home, of course) I took Leah to the store. We needed a few things and they were having a sale on carseats. She has outgrown hers and what better time to buy a replacement than while on sale??

Well, I made a point to let someone who works with Ricky know that we were there and asked if he would please mention to him that we were so he could see Leah.
My ulterior motive in this was letting him know we were there to get a carseat on sale in hopes that:
1) he would offer to buy it, or
2) that he would offer to pay for part of it, or
3) that he would at least offer to check out with us so we would get $4.00 off with his 10% employee discount.
Needless to say none of the above happened...
...as well, when I mentioned that the car seats were on sale and that he might consider buying one now since they were and he "has the money, all the money" (yes, I know, a little uncalled for but what the hey, he does... got back over $5000 erroneously claiming the children on his taxes, see previous post, right out from under me) he said his attorney "got all the money thanks to you"....

Wednesday visitation was a go!

2005-03-02T22:39:00.000-05:00

Nothing exciting... just a post to log todays visitation.

He was there on time, it was me who was between 5 and 10 minutes late. I hate it when I can't be prompt for all this!
He had the Vickie with him and I think her son.
He asked if they'd napped and I let him know they had. Then he said he had something for me, something that belonged to me, and he handed me a box... I looked at it and recognized it as the box holding the corsage that his mother and Susan got me when they had the baby shower for my pregnancy with Zack. I had forgotten about it. I tossed it into the back of his truck...

When he brought them back we got there at the same time as far as I could tell and he only had the Diane with him. I think she met him there somehow though, either leaving her car at Bojangles or the Right Way.
Verbal exchange also limited to him saying to me that he did not think Zack had napped, to which I replied "yes, he napped for 2 hours". Then, when I was buckling him into his seat Ricky called my name so that I stopped and looked behind me out the door at him and he then said, "I'll see you Monday"... to which I replied, "yes, you will".

At first I decided he was trying to intimidate me in some fashion, like, he knows something about Monday that I do not... but I was able to quickly let go of that.

He didn't even ask how Leah was!!

2005-02-28T09:33:00.000-05:00

He was 10 minutes late bringing Zack to me at our meeting place... not unusual. He is usually on time to pick him up and late or very late bringing him back.

Not only was an attempt made to "correct" the awful haircut that Diane got him (it is so bad now, too short and not straight across his forehead and the back is just all gommed up now), he didn't even ask how Leah was. I didn't have her wiht me because she was taking a nap.
He didn't ask about her rash, how it was, or anything...
Par for the course...

BTW, he did have the Vickie with him this time as well as her son. A happy little family....

Again, no visitation with LeahClair

2005-02-27T18:33:00.000-05:00

Well, another day that Ricky opted to not see his daughter...

He did call, at about 2pm, on my cell phone... I didn't get to the phone before it quit ringing and he left a message. The message said he was calling to see about setting up about Leah and for me to give him a call. I waited about a half hour thinking he'd call the house phone or call back on the cell. He did neither so at about 2:25 I called his house (which is where he called my cell phone from). I got his answering machine... I left a message... he never called back. He never called back on the cell phone... He never called back for Leah, period...

I guess his 2pm phone call was simply gratuitous, making the gesture... I certainly think it was an ill attempt....
As I've said too many times, I'm glad LeahClair is still too young to understand the snub...

No visitation with LeahClair today

2005-02-26T16:21:00.000-05:00

He waited until right at 3:00 pm to call my cell phone.
He expected me to wake Leah up from her nap, stop what I was doing and get her over to him at the mall right then!
When I asked why he waited til then to call instead of making arrangements in advance earlier in the day he said he had other things going on (to me this says his other things were more important than his daughter and, without a doubt, more important than my being able to make plans for the day) and asked me why I didn't call him!! It is not my place, I told him, to call him... that he has reminded me in the past many times that he does not need a babysitter... that it is his responsibility to call me about his visitation with his daughter.
He wanted to play dumb -- he asked what a babysitter had to do with anything and he made the comment that we are supposed to communicate with each other "like adults"... HAHAHA!! He wants to talk about acting like adults!! What a huge joke coming out of his mouth! He wanted to know if I thought Leah would nap til 5 or 6pm... doh!! I told him I didn't think he really believed she would sleep that long.
He finally just hung up on me..... fine... no apology for my not being able to have a plan all day, no mention of a plan for visitation for tomorrow.... fine... I'd much rather LeahClair hang out with me anyhow!

Got my stuff back - confronted him about tax situation

2005-02-25T23:29:00.000-05:00

He called around 11:30 am and said he would have some help and could get my stuff together and meet me at my storage unit and let me have it back. I said wonderful!! He said he would call his friend Mike and get back with me in about an hour..............................................
...........................................
..............................
At around 3:30 he FINALLY called and said he could meet me there around 4:15, he'd have all my things and he'd get Zack for the weekend at that time...
*
When we got there, before he made any attempt to retrieve anything of mine from the back of the truck, he pulled out the truck title and wanted me to sign it over to him.... I took it and was filling in the appropriate information on the back and decided I'd confront him with the tax refund situation........
HE STILL TRIED TO ACT LIKE HE HAD NOT FILED YET!!! He is the biggest liar!!!
I told him he could cut out the act, that I'd know for quite some time what he'd done. All he cared about was how I knew it!
He claims he did it because I had been being sneaky lately and that he felt like I would *&%$ with him so he'd better (^#@ with me first.... OH MY G-D!!!
I was livid! What had I been sneaky about? I asked him... He claims that my having my attorney file papers for child support, that was me being sneaky... He asked why I didn't ask him about it first! Hmmmmmmmm......... Ask him for support first when I had to practically beg him for diapers before? I don't think so!!

Well, I informed him he didn't have the legal right to claim them in that fashion....

When I reminded him that LeahClair only lived with him for 7-8 weeks that man actually said to me, "She lived with me in your stomach until she was born".......

THE NERVE!! He gave me a bill???!!... and he passed on visitation......

2005-02-23T22:43:00.000-05:00

Oh-my-g-d!!
The nerve of him!!
My mother says he is just MEAN!! She is so right!
Ricky called earlier today to say he couldn't take the kids for his Wednesday visitation because he was finishing up with inventory...
Being the too nice person that I am I told him that since I had to have diapers desperately I would go there with the kids to get them and he could at least see them for a few minutes. He thought that was a good idea and actually offered to go ahead and buy the diapers and wipes for us!!! WOOHOO!!!
So, he did buy diapers and wipes... but, he got Zack the wrong diapers!!
And, when he gave me to shopping bags with the diapers and wipes, guess what else that man gave me?? A doctor bill for Zachary from his 2-year-old well-baby checkup October 2004! A doctor bill which he had complained about months ago in that BC/BS did not pay for the visit. A doctor bill which he had told me he'd already paid!!!! THE NERVE!!! THE NERVE!!! This man actually had the gall to hand me a BILL for a doctors visit of our son!!!

Court today for "support"... continued, of course.....

2005-02-21T22:37:00.000-05:00

Well, court was "continued" for 2 weeks until March 7th... arrrrrrrgggggg!!!
I suppose I should have known it would happen that way.

His attorney stated to the judge that "his client" was needed at work due to inventory and he could not get away... Ricky had already arranged for the morning off. As a matter of fact, when I left the courthouse and called him at work I was told he was not there, that he had the day off.

My attorney stated his opposition to the continuance noting that I was present, we were prepared, and support was needed as I had been receiving very little if nothing from Ricky. (nothing is more like it!)

It didn't matter, the case was not going to be heard until March 7th so, as it always is with me, I wait.

What I saw at Ricky's mom's house Sunday

2005-02-18T05:32:00.000-05:00

When I got there Diane's friend Susan from Hyde County was there. It was good to see her. I'd not seen her in a very long time. I know she, of course, sides with Diane in all the issues at hand I was still genuinely tickled to see her, even if she didn't feel the same way. Whatever her feelings, she was very nice to me.

HOWEVER, ALL I COULD SMELL WHEN I WALKED IN THE DOOR WAS MARIJUANA!!! It reeked in there like you wouldn't believe. Then, sure enough, when I sat down, what did I see right there beside a little glass ashtray?? A PARTIALLY SMOKED JOINT!! ...and my 2 year old son who gets into everything, who still puts everything in his mouth, who mimicks every single thing he sees me (or anyone else I'm sure) do, is there!!! He is probably there a lot!

My friend Tammy asked me if I said anything to them about it and I did not... what could I say? I mean, really, they are in their own space. I know I could have been polite about it and maybe suggested they refrain from it when my son is there but I just didn't want to create a scene... She asked if I thought about getting a picture of it there like that, especially one with Zack in it, and I of course told her I did not.... hell, I just wanted to make sure Zack didn't notice it or get near it. Luckily, when Zack got up we immediately got him dressed and out the door to show me how he rides on his little motorcycle!

Recent goings on

2005-02-17T13:16:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a long time.....
Here's some of what is going on:

He still does not know that I know he has already filed his taxes claiming both children. He is acting as if he has not, lying to me all the while. I am just playing along to see what he will finally say or do.
He has finally admitted that he is in a relationship with The Vickie but that he hasn't been for this whole time, that they have only been "seeing a little bit of each other" for 2-3 weeks, so that means, according to him, that he was not lying to me before about it.... yah....
He did not have The Vickie with him Friday when I dropped Zachary off, nor did he have her with him Saturday when he picked Leah up. The Vickie was not at his mother's house Sunday when I went over there, either.
Regarding the child support hearing that is on Monday, February 21st, he has told me that he will quit his job before he pays some huge amount of support... he has asked to settle it without going to court by my letting him pay me $200-300 a month... he has said that he will not be in court Monday, that he is working long hours working toward inventory on Wednesday.
He let me come to his mom's on Sunday with Leah for his visitation time and let me see Zachary riding his little Harley motorcycle he got him for Christmas, then slept from 2:00 until around 4:30, then leaving at 5:30 to go to his grandmother's house to check on the dog because it was coughing (dog more important than his daughter?). He didn't even visit with LeahClair for that lonely little hour because he was outside with Zack on the motorcycle...
He laid out of work on Monday, 2/14, supposedly sick, but I have all idea it was a "cocaine cold" and nothing more.
He had court Tuesday, 2/15, regarding the DUI/speeding charge stemming from last years "Polar Bear Poker Run". He didn't offer any info, other than answering 'yes' when I asked him if it went okay, so he missed work on Tuesday, too.
He left work early on Wednesday, 2/16, saying he was sick again. He didn't take the kids but is taking them today instead.

That's what I'm remembering at this point in time... trying to cut to the chase is a bit difficult. I may elaborate more in a few short posts on some of the above in particular.

He claimed them on his taxes!!

2005-02-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I had a bad feeling that he would and he did.
Neither child lived with him nor did he support them yet here he goes and claims them as his dependents, basically committing tax fraud!
I called my attorney who I cannot believe didn't call me back!
I tried calling Tracy, Carl's ex-girlfriend, to see how it worked out when Carl did that to her, but got no answer. I know what Carl told us but he's a proven liar so I wonder if what he ever told us was the truth...
Then I called the IRS. A very nice lady informed me what to do.
Now, when it comes time to prove who was the main support for the children, he will be the one who has to pay the IRS back what he didn't deserve to get in the first place.
What kills me is - he went behind my back and sneaky sneakied the whole doing his taxes thing. A few weeks ago he discussed with me seeing how we should file to get the most $$ back and then split the refund and I told him that was okay by me. Now, he goes behind my back and does this! ...and didn't even have the BALLS to tell me!! I asked him about getting together to do our taxes when I called him this morning he told me he was tired and wasn't in the mood to talk about that and hung up on me! BALL-LESS JERK!!

Info over the last 4 days or so....

2005-02-01T23:27:00.000-05:00

I have not posted in a few days... I think I'll just make a list of the things that have occurred since Friday the 28th.

He did show up for Leah, at 10:13, 2 minutes before I'd told him I'd wait no longer. He came alone with Zachary who was still in his pajamas.
He had the Vickie with him when he dropped Leah back off, on time. Zack was with the Diane down at the Family Dollar riding the little ride out there.
On Sunday, Jan. 30, he called at 10 til 2 saying he'd be a little late. When I asked if I should just wait and be there at 2:15 he said no, he was only running a little bit late but he didn't want me to think he wasn't going to show up. He didn't get there until 2:35!!! Then he showed his butt when I told him I would no longer wait on him in that fashion. He had the Vickie with him.
He was right on time, 6pm, bringing Leah and Zack back to me. He had the Diane with him. He said since he didn't get Zack's hair cut on Saturday, could he take him for a haircut on Monday and I said yes.
On Monday, Jan 31, he called saying he needed to stay at work, could he get Zack Tuesday to take him for the haircut. I said yes.
On Tuesday, Feb 1, he called to say he needed to stay at work and then talked a bit about how he might want to arrange this haircut... But the conversation took a turn for the worse.... I'll type that up later.

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA -- he drives me batty!

2005-01-28T21:55:00.000-05:00

This will be long, I'm sure....

This is Ricky's weekend to have Zachary so I met him at the usual time, 4pm, at the usual place, Food Lion parking lot on the highway.
He had his girlfriend with him, I suppose as his "witness"... anyway, I asked him to let's go ahead and make arrangement for his Saturday and Sunday visits with Leah. I told him I'd like for him to have her from 10am - 2pm Saturday and 2pm til 6pm Sunday which is when I pick Zack up, too.
At first he said 11:00 would be better but I told him I'd already made plans. He hemmed and hawwed and laughed at my face when I asked him to please go along with me this time, that having the arrangements for visitation ahead of time allowed me to have some much needed, planned, time to myself... I don't know what about that he thought was funny... I just kept moving toward my car and as I was getting in and was shutting the door I'm sure I heard him saying "Change your plans".... I ignored that, too, and drove away.

I was in the social services office about our food stamp continuation when he called the first time. I didn't take the call as I was with the woman filling out paperwork but when I got in the car I called him back.
He wanted to know if I was okay... I asked him what he meant. He said he wanted to make sure things were okay between us because I'd been acting short with him lately. I didn't want to start anything so I bit my tongue from saying anything smartass and simply said I was fine.
Then he asked why I had makeup on...!!! I laughed inwardly and thought to myself, "here we go!".... I said what do you mean? and he asked if I had a boyfriend... I told him no and asked him why he needed to know. (mind you, we are only supposed to have to talk to each other regarding the children and it is to be conversation civil in nature)... He said he didn't care but that when I had a boyfriend it caused him problems because I would get a bad attitude...
I don't know where he gets that from because I have only dated Gerald and that was only for about 3-4 months and that ended almost a month ago.
I asked him if Zack was okay then if there was anything else he needed and he said no and hung up without saying bye.
I waited a few minutes and called him and asked if he had gotten my futon taken apart or gotten my things together (like he said he would weeks ago)
.........
.........
I have typed and typed and typed and I've saved as draft and now coming back I don't even feel like writing any more about this day...
Suffice it to say that after several calls back and forth and hanging up and etc, he basically said he didn't care if he got Leah Saturday or not, I lied and told him I was taping the call, he lied saying he'd made an appointment for Zack for a haircut at 10:00am, blah, blah, blah, f-ing blah...

He didn't take them for his Wednesday visitation!!

2005-01-26T17:07:00.000-05:00

This is getting bad...
Wednesday's are his visitation day to have both LeahClair and Zachary from 4pm til 7pm.

He waited until 3:30 to call (on my cell phone) and say that he only wanted one child or the other for visitation today. I told him I'd already made plans for the time that he was to have both children. He told me to change my plans!! I told him I didn't want to, reminding him that this is his day to have both children, that was why I'd made the plans! doh!!!

He tried playing off that we'd talked last week about him having Leah Tuesday alone and Zachary Wednesday alone. That's true... but Leah was sick on Tuesday so he took Zack Tuesday afternoon and then Leah was diagnosed Wednesday morning with STREP THROAT (see previous post from Jan 20) and he couldn't get her that afternoon for that reason. There was no mention, whatsoever, at any time, that that arrangement would become set in stone -- and had it, he never called Monday to arrange for the visit with her for yesterday, nor did he call yesterday to arrange it last minute... He's just making things up as he goes.....

So anyhoo, he tells me he won't take both of them saying it is too stressful for him to have them both and reminds me of what happened 2 Wednesdays ago (see previous post from Jan 12). I told him I was sorry but that I had already made plans. He again tells me to change my plans and I told him I didn't want to do that. After sitting in silence for a few moments he tells me he's burning up his minutes (cell phone) and that he'll call me back. I was saying "okay" when he was hangin up.

10 minutes then 20 minutes pass and I'm sitting there wondering if I should get the kids in the car and go down to Food Lion where we meet out on the highway and see if he even shows up. Then thought better of it -- what if he tried to just take one, what if something else bad happened, I didn't want the children to see anything like that -- and called my attorney's office. The rude secretary (there's a nice one and a meanie one, I got the meanie one) told that he was out of the office at a meeting. I didn't bother leaving a message. I wanted him to tell me what he thought and what I should do.....

Well, Ricky finally called me (on my cell phone)....... at 4:33pm....... he asked me what was I doing? What was I doing?? I told him I've been waiting on him to call back!! He says to me that I know I'm supposed to be at the Food Lion at 4:00. I reminded him he said he'd call back. He was right snide acting and says he's been sitting there for 35 minutes with his witness and another witness. I told him I didn't care about his witnesses, that he said he was going to call back and that is what he should have done. He asks me what I want to do... I asked him what did he mean? He told me I could bring him one child but not to bring him both children... I reminded him that was not the agreement, that this is his day to have both children and that I'd already made plans, that maybe we needed to change the visitation privileges if he couldn't handle them both. He got mad and told me I needed to let him keep the children for 3 weeks and see how it felt to be without them. I then reminded him that he couldn't handle them for 3 hours together, how did he think he could handle them for 3 weeks, much less handle CUSTODY of them!!
He said "Maybe I need to call my lawyer".
I said "Maybe you do".
And that was it, he hung up in my ear.......

AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
He is batty! He is awful!! He is a liar, a meanie, a bad person with a mean streak! I love love love my beautiful blessings my children but daggonit!!!!!! why did their father have to be this way!!

Rumor mill

2005-01-25T12:51:00.000-05:00

I was at Sammy's on Friday. He told me some things he'd heard about this Vickie, Ricky's girlfriend, who, by the way, he keeps insisting is NOT his girlfriend.
I don't know who he has heard this from but he has contacts with a lot of police officers and sheriff deputies or it could be Renee.

He told me that this Vickie is a "meth-head" and that so was her husband before his death. He said that supposedly she is on the stuff real bad.
I've seen her and she does kind of look a bit throwed away. She's not skinny or anything, but Ricky has lost about 25 pounds at least in the last few months. I hope he isn't using that stuff. He was using cocaine a lot, he claims, while we were still together and he used that meth stuff, too. He, his mom and Gerald all did it while I was pregnant with Leah and they all kept it hidden from me. When Ricky first told me that I didn't believe it was true. But Gerald did confirm it when I asked him about it.
Now here is Ricky with a 25 pound or more weight loss hanging out with an "alleged" meth-head. This cannot be good.

As well, Sammy said Vickie is under suspicion by the law of her husband, Mark's, murder. This Mark "committed suicide" not too long before Ricky and her hooked up which was before Christmas sometime. He is supposed to have died from eating grub poisoning which was sprinkled on his food.
I wouldn't think of a man committing suicide by poisoning himself that way... a man who commits suicide does it by shooting himself maybe or taking an overdose of something.... I wouldn't imagine a man poisoning himself that way putting himself in such pain and through so much terrible suffering....
Tammy L. had also told me that she'd heard this same thing, but that this Vickie had supposedly known he was doing it, that she watched him do it....

It all seems like very, very bad news to me, and a very bad situation for Ricky to have himself mixed up with. But, if he is on that meth, that "gas", he probably is not thinking clearly.

I worry about them having that stuff in the house and then the children getting into it!! I would hope that no matter how messed up Ricky was that he would at least think about that before bringing the kids into his house with that mess there.
I can't believe he'd be mixed up with a meth-head, either! He always talked junk about girls who he thought were... He always had ugly things to say about Timmy's girlfriend Rose.

I've wondered where he hooked up with this girl... I know his friend Dusty does that stuff. He probably hooked up with her either through him or maybe even through Rose who, I've heard, is a big methamphetamine dealer. Her brother used to be one until he got arrested for it I heard.

A call to check on Leah but no visit yesterday

2005-01-20T18:53:00.000-05:00

I had called about Leah's rash on Monday and the nurse said as long as her fever didn't spike and she was drinking/nursing and having wet diapers that she was likely fine, just to watch her.

Ricky called that afternoon and asked if he could have Leah and Zack separately this week, Leah Tuesday and Zack Wednesday. I told him that would be fine and we worked out the arrangements.

Leah still had the rash on Tuesday morning so I called the pediatrician's office again. By the time they called me back it was almost 3:00. They thought she needed to be seen and made us an appointment for 9:15 Wednesday morning. I called Ricky and told him what was up and suggested he take Zachary for a while instead of Leah. He agreed.

Wednesday morning Leah was diagnosed with STREP THROAT and a mild ear infection!!!!! I tried called Ricky at work but twice was finally disconnected after holding on for about 3 minutes each time. I tried his cell a few times but it was turned off. Well, I was waiting on the prescriptions to be filled so I decided to drive out to his work and leave a note on his truck. Guess what.... no truck, Ricky wasn't at work.... imagine that!
I called his house and after about 5-6 rings he answered, all sleepy sounding.... I told him about Leah, we spoke briefly and then hung up.
He called back about an hour later saying he had decided not to go in to work after all and maybe he could have Zachary for a little while. I said okay, we talked a little bit more - he even talked about taking my futon apart and getting it over to my storage unit for me - then changed his mind when he saw on the weather channel how cold it was outside. Then he said he had a lot of things he needed to do and said he had to go, that he'd talk to me later... that was it, no more anything about picking Zack up or anything.... and that was all I heard from him all day. He never called again about getting Zack or not getting Zack....

This morning there was an email from him with 3 pictures of Leah and Zack that he'd taken of them on January 1st (Zack is precious on his little Harley!!). He'd sent them at 9:30 last night.

He did finally call today from work at a little after 2:30 this afternoon to ask how Leah was doing.

Ricky's Sunday visitation with Leah, or lack thereof

2005-01-16T12:59:00.000-05:00

1:00 pm
I was actually not expecting him to call but call he did, about 15 minutes ago. He said he was calling about getting Leah today. I told him I was just getting ready to see if she would take a nap (she napped a whopping 20 minutes earlier when I'd posted). Zachary was making a fuss in the background and Ricky told him to stop his whining, then said he'd call back after a while once he got Zack settled down. I said okay. Now I wait for him to call again. Story of my life... always waiting for Ricky.... wait for Ricky to call, wait for Ricky to come home, wait for Ricky to wake up from being passed out, wait for Ricky to come inside from the building, waiting, waiting, waiting......

1:15pm
Well, he just called back. Another conversation that ended poorly...
He started off asking if Leah was asleep and I told him that she was not, that she'd not acted like she wanted to nap. She was making cute little noises and he said he heard her.

He started telling me that Zack was wearing training pants, that Grandma Taylor (Mariza I suppose?) had gotten him 7 or 8 pairs of them. He said he thought it was time that Zack start potty training, that he was a smart enough child, and did I want him to send a few pairs of them back with Zack. I told him that would be fine if he felt like parting with them. He said he could. He was asking me if I noticed how irritated Zack gets when his diaper is being changed and I told him that Zack usually just pulls his own diaper off. He said he'd never seen him do that before. I told him how he'd peed on his LeapFrog LeapPad the other day. He said, "The one I bought him for his birthday?", and I corrected him, saying "The one WE bought him for his birthday"...
(We'd gone shopping together at Gregory and split the cost 50/50 for everything we bought him except for the coat which Ricky paid for)... He said, "We?", and I said, "Yes, WE"... He said "yeah, I never saw any of that, either". I reminded him that we didn't have much over here, that he's seen everything Zack had when he used to visit us when we lived at my brother's house. He said he didn't know what Zack had and I again reminded him he did, that Zack had the same things he had over at Jonathan's. He said, "I've never seen the stuff that Gerald got for him, but nevermind, this conversation's gone bad". I said, "It's only gone bad because you've made it that way", and he said "Right. Bye." and hung up in my ear. I was right in the middle of trying to say "Don't you want Leah today?" but he hung up.....

This is what I have to deal with...

Well, he has the excuse he was probably looking for to not have to visit with LeahClair today. Poor little thing. Bless her heart. I'd rather her be with me anyway....

Good morning Sunday

2005-01-16T10:31:00.000-05:00

I have so far this morning, and some last night, been enjoying reading the blogs of others. I have bookmarked a few and posted a few comments.
Actually, I spent far too much time browsing.
I have just fed Leah and now she is sitting in her little chair watching me, Mom's napping in her spot on the couch in the den and Daddy's smoking a cigarette in the kitchen.
It's time to try to get Leah down for a nap and for me to work for a while. I still have a massive amount of work to do! UGGHH!!

No excuse, just sorry-ness...

2005-01-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

Well, when I'd not heard from him after 6pm I decided I'd try calling him again. Lo and behold he answered his cell phone at 6:25pm.

He claims he'd not gotten my messages, that he'd not been home.
He wouldn't say where he was but Zachary was sleeping... in the truck.
When he answered, after I said it was me I asked him "what happened today"... he asked me "what do you mean?"...... did he not even consider Leah at all today??
When I stated to him that he could have at least called he said that, yeah, he'd thought about called a few times during the day..... HE KNEW LEAH HAD FEVER YESTERDAY AND NEVER EVEN CALLED TO SEE HOW SHE WAS!!!

I wonder if he will want to see her tomorrow? I am at a loss -- I keep thinking that I am so glad that she is not old enough to realize what her "daddy" (and I use that term loosely) is doing... or should I say NOT doing...

And, I am upset too... I was hoping to share in the visit with him. I had envisioned a nice day with him, Leah behaving how she does when she is with me, so that he could have a nice, sweet, meaningful visit with his little girl. I envision her beautiful face next to his, she is so beautiful, and him looking down at her... the apple of his eye... instead, who knows what is going on in his mind. I can't help dwelling on the fact that he is spending (wasting) money on an attorney, causing me to spend (waste) more money on my attorney, fighting me for custody.... He wants custody? HA!!! What a joke! What a freakin' joke! He wants custody. Yeah... more like his mother wants custody.

The other day he even said that the only reason he was doing it was so that when (as if!) the day came that Zack asked him why he didn't live with daddy he would be able to pull out the papers and show them to him. Okay, so what are his plans for what he will tell his daughter when she asks him "Daddy, how come you never wanted to visit with me?"......

Ricky noshow AGAIN for Leah

2005-01-15T15:47:00.000-05:00

I shouldn't be surprised but so far I've yet to hear from Ricky today about his visitation with LeahClair...

At 3:20 I called his house and got his answering machine. I left a message and said I'd try his cell phone, too. I called his cell phone and it is apparently turned off. I called his house phone back and left another message letting him know I'd tried his cell...

You know, it's not even my responsibility to make sure he exercises his visitation with Leah but I feel like I have to make sure I do show some effort, even if he does not.

I'm glad LeahClair isn't old enough to understand just how her father is dismissing her existance. I feel so badly for her, thank goodness she doesn't know this is going on. I can't even imagine how she would feel...

He's questioning visitation with Leah??

2005-01-12T21:57:00.001-05:00

I'd barely pulled out on the highway from dropping the kids with Ricky tonight when he called me on the cell. He said he didn't know if he could "handle this tonight", that he was tired. Both kids were crying but while we were talking Zack calmed down and I think Leah started to. He said he wasn't sure if "it was worth all this" having the kids on Wednesdays. He'd mentioned something to that effect just the other day but didn't go into any detail and I left it alone, I did'nt want to push the subject. I asked if he wanted to do it another night and he said no, that he would be okay and he'd call me if he needed to change the time.
He called again just before 6:00... Leah was crying and he was complaining about her taking away his time from Zachary. He said all she would do was cry. I reminded him that he'd told me so proudly about how she hardly cried at all the last Saturday she was with him and he said he thought she didn't cry because there was so much going on what with them being over at his mother's opening their Christmas and then Mariza and them coming over. Then he asked if I was working and when I told him I was at Sammy's working on Sammie Jo's computer he said he'd talk to me later... hmmm....
Then he called again just after 6:30 and asked "can you hear that?"... I listened and could hear Leah crying. He said he was in his bedroom and she was in the living room and it was still that loud, her crying.... I suggested he go in there and be with her because she doesn't like to be alone, that's probably how come she was crying. He said that she had been crying all along, that no matter what he did she cried. I suggested he try to play with her and that Zack would play with her, too. He said that Zack had tried playing with her. He asked me if she was still nursing... he knows she is, but I didn't say it like that, I just told him she was but that maybe she was nursing a little less these days than she used to. She is, actually, as she is easily distracted and she likes using her new teeth!! He said he thought I should stop nursing her, that that would make her get less attached to me and then maybe she wouldn't cry when she's away from me. I told him that neither one of us was ready to wean just yet. He asked why not and I just said that we weren't. It would have been futile trying to explain to him that you just can't stop nursing or to explain why I want her to self-wean like Zack had the opportunity to do. I offered to go over there, to help calm her down and relax her so that he could have a bit of good visit time with her but he said no. Actually, I offered at least 2 or 3 times to do that so he could have a less stressful visit but he said that it was too late for that. Then he said he'd meet me at 7:15 and we said goodbye.
I got there right at 7:15 and parked and went into the store. Mom needed some saline nasal spray. I was in and out in just a moment then got back in my car and waited. As usual when he is dropping them back off he was late, almost 10 minutes late or more.... and he had that Vicky girl with him. We exchanged very few words, as is the case whenever that girl is with him, and I came on home.

When I got the kids home and took them into Zack's room for diapers and pajamas I found that they both had on the same diaper as they did when I dropped them off with him at 4:20.... All that hype taking Zachary to the ER with a diaper rash and he didn't even change either of them the whole time he had them! I know they had on the same diapers because the last 2 times I've picked Zack up he's had on some of those cheap diapers like from the Family Dollar Store and before that he'd been in Huggies Pull Ups. He was in the Huggies Convertible that I'd sent him in. And Leah had on the same Winnie the Pooh Huggies as I sent her in.... she always comes home from Ricky's in the Micky Mouse Huggies. Both kids were super wet, too.

About a half hour after I got home he called and asked if I was okay, that I didn't act right when I picked them up. I apologized for being so quiet, that I was just a little jealous whenever I see that Vicky girl with him. I won't get into that here, but then he started talking again about how he didn't think it was worth it to have Leah when all she does is cry 9 out of 10 times he has her. He did say he didn't want to make any kind of hasty decision and I agreed, saying that I'd do whatever I could to help him have good visits with her. He said that she took away from any quality time he would get to have with Zachary... I very carefully reminded him that he has two children and that he needs to play with her more, maybe, and to please not give up on Leah. I so don't want her to grow older feeling left out and like her dad doesn't want to be around her. He said he wouldn't give up on her. He said he didn't know what to do about it, that he'd thought about having them on different nights. I told him that was a very good idea, that way he could dedicate his entire visit each time to each child individually.... this really is a good idea, I hope he will decide to give it a try and not just brush Leah off.

2005-01-09T08:39:00.000-05:00

My two cuties - Zachary and LeahClair. This was taken in October 2004.

Another visit turned down...

2005-01-08T19:32:00.000-05:00

I called Ricky this afternoon sometime around 2'ish. I wanted to take my car down for an oil change and wash and didn't want the kids to have to wait with me... Saturday's always a busy day at Adams'.
I asked him if he wanted the kids for a while and he immediately, with no hesitation, said, "Today's not a good day for me"... hmmm...
He said he and Mike were doing cleaning in the yard and in the back building. Said they didn't finish up yesterday.
When I told him him about wanting to take my car down to Adams' he said that Saturday is a bad day, that I'd end up waiting for a long time (doh!!!). Then he suggested I call his mother...... yeah, right.... I wasn't aware hell had frozen over recently.....
Anyhoo, just another example of how everything always takes priority over his children, as always. Wonder what he'd have done if he DID have custody.... I suppose he'd call his mommy..... par for the course.

Ricky noshow for Leah

2005-01-02T17:33:00.000-05:00

I couldn't remember if I was supposed to call Ricky around 1pm or if he was supposed to call me, about getting Leah Clair for his visitation today, so I went ahead and called him.
I tried a few times from about 20 til 1pm and his line was busy and his cell phone was apparently turned off. Finally around 1pm I got him on his house phone.
He said he was trying to get Zack to take a nap, unsuccessfully so far. He seemed quite unsure what to do or say so I suggested he take about 30 minutes to decide and call me back. He agreed to do so.
He called back about 20-30 minutes later and said Zack had finally gone to sleep and he was going to take a nap too. He said it would probably be around 3pm before he would get Leah Clair.
At 5pm almost exactly he called and said that they'd slept until 4:30. He told me that almost as soon as he got off the phone with me earlier that Zack had gotten up and was knocking on the door.
He wanted to be sure we would still meet at 6pm for me to pick up Zachary, I said 'yes'.

Yesterday he called me initially at 9:05 am on my cell phone but it was in another room and the ringer was set to vibrate. I called him back when I noticed the missed call at about 9:35.
We agreed to meet at approximately 10:45 for him to pick up Leah Clair for his scheduled visitation but to call one another before we got ready to leave and/or if anything changed.
At 10:30 I called him to let him know I needed about another 15 minutes or so. He was asleep... said Zack had gotten up behind him on the couch and had been rubbing on his face and ears and they both had fallen asleep. I said no problem, let's give it about another hour. He agreed.
He told me about how they were going to go to his mom's house and do thier Christmas. I asked him what had happened last weekend (Christmas), didn't he get my messages... he said it wasn't a good time. He said that with what had happened on Wednesday he didn't think it was a good time. To myself I wondered how Christmas couldn't be a good time for his children to visit with him and vice versa, and I said to him that he simply had to learn to keep his hands off me.
He raised his voice and replied that he had never touched me! He has certainly got himself fooled into believing his own lies! UNBELIEVABLE!!! Oh well, the conversation ended badly... I was almost in tears but each time something like that happens it only reminds me as to why I left him in the first place. I certainly do not recommend a liar as a significant other ever in a million years!! HAHA!!
I am blessed with my beautiful children, it's just too back their father is such a mean jerk!

First post on next to last day of the year

2004-12-31T01:10:00.000-05:00

I wish my online journal from BU hadn't been deleted. Leaving it idle for so long I guess is why it was deleted.
Oh well, I start fresh -- seems I'm a pro at that. haha.
The kids are both in bed and it sounds like Mom is getting ready to hit the hay.
Daddy's in his room with his TV blasting, as usual....
Zack's movie must've ended because he started hollering. I went back there and he had all his stuff thrown out of his bed! He used to do that when he was little....... hehehe, he's only 2 now! Well, he's not done that in a long time.
Leah is sleeping soundly. Hope I do when I lay down. Last night was the first night in ages and ages that I've not been asleep by the time my head hit the pillow! I did work til 12:30 so maybe I was still a bit keyed up but I usually do work til bedtime. Well I have so much on my mind these days.
I got Ricky's answer today. Sargeant's office called and told me they were mailing it but I couldn't wait so I went and picked it up. He's going to fight me for custody! Mom said it's par for the course but I couldn't believe it. And in the papers they basically say I'm not fit to parent the kids!! I never said a nasty thing about Ricky in our papers.